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Dogmeat continued up practically every picture card, and we jumped into a quick and solid lead. But what sportsmen our opponents turned out to be! Once I led out of turn, and they simply told me to put the card back in my hand. When Cave and I put up what seemed to me to be a singularly poor defense and I commented, ?╟úNolo contendere,?╟Ñ Buster Keaton said, ?╟úWell I thought you defended very well.?╟Ñ The professor mentioned that they had lost their first match, and something ?╟≤about his modest manner touched my heart. The poor fellows. Here were Cave and I, playing just for the hell of it, and we were about to inflict a second straight loss on these fellows who, no doubt, took their bridge very seriously and yet were being so sportif about losing. They weren?╟╓t dressed very well (one of them wore shower clogs), and maybe they had spent all their money getting to Las Vegas to play. I almost felt like taking a dive. But, as luck would have it, they picked up a good hand and scored a game. Now we were coming into the eighth and final deal, with our side still enjoying a diminished but comfortable lead. The professor did some figuring, and it developed that the only way they could beat us was to rack up at least four no trump, an extremely unlikely happening. I dealt the cards. WEST (Me) 4 K Q 8 x x 4 9x ?╓¬ X X X | 4 A 10 x NORTH (Buster Keaton) 4 9 7 x x 4 K J ?╓¬ A Q J 4 K 9 x x EAST (Ray) 4 10 x 4 A 8 x x x ?╓¬ x x x x 4 X X SOUTH (The Professor) 4 A J y Q 10 x x ?╓¬ K 10 X 4 Q J x x Buster Keaton opened the bidding with one club, the professor bid a heart, Buster bid a spade, the professor bid two no trump, and Buster raised him to three. I led fourth from my longest and strongest suit?╟÷which is routine to most players but to me is a very skillful avant-garde ploy?╟÷and the professor won the trick in his hand with the jack of spades. Immediately he had to figure which outstanding ace to knock out, the club or the heart, assuming each hand held one ace. He had to hope that which- ever ace he decided to knock out would turn up in my hand, because if it didn?╟╓t, Ray would win the trick and lead spades back and they would be down like dirty dogs. It was a 50-50 guess, with no in- formation to go on except my Cheshire- cat grin, and the professor lucked into the right decision. He led a club, and when I took my ace he was cold for four no trump and the match. But we liad lost by only 10 points. Ten points! The smallest amount possible! It was like losing a football game 61-60. ?╟úThanks,?╟Ñ I said, proffering my hand to Buster Keaton. ?╟úWin or lose, you sure were nice guys to play against. By the way, what was your name again??╟Ñ ?╟úIvan Erdos,?╟Ñ he said with a gracious smile. ?╟úOh,?╟Ñ I said, with my customary sa- voir faire, ?╟úI know of an Ivan Erdos in Los Angeles. Just wrote a very funny book called Bridge A-La-Carte. He?╟╓s a bridge teacher.?╟Ñ ?╟úThat?╟╓s me,?╟Ñ Buster Keaton said. My mouth dropped. I turned to the professor. ?╟úIf he?╟╓s Ivan Erdos, then you?╟╓re?╟÷?╟Ñ ?╟úThat?╟╓s right,?╟Ñ the professor said. Tobias Stone! The great international player! The man who co-invented the Roth-Stone system. The widely known eccentric genius who taught his wife how to play bridge and then partnered her to more master points in a single year than any novice had ever won before. The terrible-tempered Tobias Stone who burned partners at the stake and squelched opponents with the most fiendish ripostes! The same Tobias Stone who many claimed would be the best player in the world except for his temper tantrums, and many others claimed was the best in the world, temper tantrums notwithstanding. I turned puce, or so the professor said later. I overheard him telling another expert, ?╟úAnd when this guy found out who I was, he turned puce. He literally turned puce!?╟Ñ continued Is there somebody you?╟╓ve always wanted to beat at Chess? Here s your chance. Bobby Fischer, tKe U. S. Champion Chess player can teach you his tactics to winning chess in just 10 hours. You learn by a revolutionary breakthrough in chess instruction created by Xerox Education Division. It works. After you take Bobby Fischer?╟╓s Chess Course, you will have learned to think the same way he does, This course puts you in increasingly complex situations that require you to think out your own and your opponent?╟╓s moves, 1, 2, 3 and even 4 moves in advance. Moves that win games. You actively participate in this course. There is no Chess notation. And there is very little to read. But there?╟╓s plenty to think about. You make your own decisions. You act. And you continually check yourself against the moves Bobby Fischer would make. This way, you learn. 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Please send book to: STATE?╟÷--------.---__--------------------- ?╟÷ CO-AUTHORS OF THIS COURSE ARE STUART MARGULIES, PH.D., AND OONN MOSENFELDER. 109 XEROX IS HSTERED TRAOEMARI XEROX CORPORATION.