Transcript of interview with Barbara Raben by Barbara Tabach, February 24, 2015

AN INTERVIEW WITH BARBARA RABEN An Oral History Conducted by Barbara Tabach The Southern Nevada Jewish Community Digital Heritage Project Oral History Research Center at UNLV University Libraries ?Southern Nevada Jewish Community Digital Heritage Project University of Nevada Las Vegas, 2014 Produced by: The Oral History Research Center at UNLV - University Libraries Director: Claytee D. White Project Manager: Barbara Tabach Transcriber: Kristin Hicks Interviewers: Barbara Tabach, Claytee D. White Editors and Project Assistants: Maggie Lopes, Stefani Evans ii The recorded interview and transcript have been made possible through the generosity of a Library Services and Technology Act (LSTA) Grant. The Oral History Research Center enables students and staff to work together with community members to generate this selection of first-person narratives. The participants in this project thank University of Nevada Las Vegas for the support given that allowed an idea the opportunity to flourish. The transcript received minimal editing that includes the elimination of fragments, false starts, and repetitions in order to enhance the reader's understanding of the material. All measures have been taken to preserve the style and language of the narrator. In several cases photographic sources accompany the individual interviews with permission of the narrator. The following interview is part of a series of interviews conducted under the auspices of the Southern Nevada Jewish Community Digital Heritage Project. Claytee D. White Director, Oral History Research Center University Libraries University of Nevada Las Vegas iii PREFACE In 1945, Barbara Raben was born to Kermit and Adele Shulman, children of Eastern European emigrants. She enjoyed a happy childhood in Stamford, Connecticut, and was raised with a strong Jewish identity. After attending college in New Jersey, Barbara married Richard Grisar, and the couple lived in London for a year, before returning to Stamford. In 1975, Barbara and Richard moved to Los Angeles where Barbara owned and operated a very successful candy business, Candy Factory. Sixteen years later, Barbara sold her business, and the family relocated permanently to Las Vegas, where her husband owned radio stations. Barbara has always been an active member of the Jewish community, wherever she lived, giving her time to synagogue, children's day school and service organizations. Upon arriving in Las Vegas, Barbara and her family were members of Temple Beth Sholom, before leaving the congregation to start Midbar Kodesh Temple with a small group of other families. She has been an active member of Hadassah Southern Nevada Chapter for over a decade, helping rebuild the organization locally after participating in the Hadassah Leadership Academy, a program designed to engage a younger generation of members. Currently, Barbara serves as board president and interim executive director for Jewish Family Service. In 2004, then a widow, she married Terry Raben. Barbara has four sons with her first husband: Michael, Andrew, David and Marc Grisar. iv TABLE OF CONTENTS Interview with Barbara Raben on February 24, 2015 by Barbara Tabach in Las Vegas, Nevada Preface iv Speaks about Hadassah's history in Las Vegas; changes to organizational structure in past decade; eventually becoming the Hadassah Southern Nevada Chapter. Mentions B'nai B'rith, ORT. Discusses being honored by Hadassah; others similarly acknowledged for contributions; Hadassah's activities in Israel and United States. Reflects upon Hadassah reviving organization in 2000; participating in program in Hadassah Leadership Academy; program's success 1-9 Talks about family history; immigrating from Poland and Russia; both sides of family ending up in Connecticut; growing up in diverse and close community of Stamford. Moves to Los Angeles; starts candy business, enjoys great success, including making props for TV and movie special effects use, hosting children's birthday parties 10-17 Discusses first husband, Richard's, radio station business; husband commuting between Los Angeles and Las Vegas until sell candy business and family moves to Las Vegas. Describes Jewish community during early 1990s; leaders of Temple Beth Shalom; leaving congregation to start Midbar Kodesh, led by Bob Fisher; transitioning to Rabbi Wiederhorn's leadership. Mentions children, grandchildren 18-23 Recounts story of meeting her second husband. Discusses involvement in Jewish community, including serving on Jewish Family Service board, secretary, and later as president and acting executive director. Describes goals while serving in leadership positions; working with Three Square, Opportunity Village; changes in staff-board interactions; programs for community participation; management of Claims Conference for Holocaust survivors 24-29 Explains Jewish Family Service's process of applying for Jewish Federation funding. Mentions own involvement with Federation. More about services Jewish Family Service provides, including adoption agency. Describes work of partner organizations Three Square and Opportunity Village. Mentions family volunteering at Opportunity Village 30-36 Index 37-38 v I'm going to mention that I am Barbara Tabach. Today is February 24, 2015. We're sitting in my office at UNLV Library and I'm with Barbara Raben and Emily Lapworth. We're going to first start by talking about some organizational questions that Emily has. See what you can do to help us out here. Sure. I'm writing little histories for a lot of the Jewish organizations and there are two that I cannot find a lot of information on. If you could tell me what you know of their histories that would be great: B 'nai B 'rith and Hadassah. I know there are multiple?or it seems like there are multiple groups of Hadassah. I can give you the whole Hadassah thing. I would love that. So here's what happened. Years and years ago there was a Hadassah group called Rishona Chapter. About twelve years ago that that group was totally dying off. The women that had started it from so many years ago either had died or just weren't doing anything anymore. And another chapter was formed; that's the Hadassah Southern Nevada Chapter. The other group was just quietly doing their own thing. That was about 2003? I think it was either 2002 or 2003; somewhere in there. There were different ways to structure Hadassah chapters around the country, and at that time, most of the chapters were a chapter that was the umbrella for groups. That's what we had here. There was a group of older women called the Avina group. There was a middle age group called the Shalom group. There was a young women's group called the Tikva group. All these little groups had their own board, did their own thing, had their own meetings, but the chapter was 1 kind of over them. That went on for about ten years. About ten years ago the model nationally changed because most of the chapters realized that it was difficult to have six different groups in town [where] all had to have their own meetings, their own boards, their own organizing, and their own fundraising. The number one reason that changed is they realized that all over the country there were chapters with checkbooks sitting with money and it was getting stockpiled because there were women sitting there saying, "Well, we might need some money in a few months, so we better hang on to this. And we're going to have a gala, so we better have a few thousand dollars just in case." And just at the time when the economy was changing and the Bernie Madoff whole fiasco started, Hadassah realized that over was millions of dollars was sitting around the country in checkbooks. Oh, my. Seriously millions of dollars that weren't doing anybody any good and they really decided that had to stop. So most chapters around the country over the last few years have been going through a transition [where] instead of having a chapter as the umbrella for the groups, it would be an organized chapter and then there would be special interest groups that didn't need a board, didn't need their own checkbook, didn't need to have their own thing?just do your little events. So if you want to cater to just the old women, fine. If you want to cater to young women, fine. And that's what happened here. So we're the Hadassah Southern Nevada Chapter, and there are special interest groups that just do their own thing. There's one board that covers everybody. The Rishona Chapter, at the point that we merged, realized they couldn't do anything. So they just merged all their members into us and that's how it became one big chapter. We have about eight hundred members right now. I was president at the time we did the transition to the chapter with group. It was a major 2 thing. It's very difficult to convince people we're taking your checkbook away. We'll promise you, you'll have money if you need it. We'll give it to you. Don't worry. But it wasn't your money in the first place. It was difficult. All over the country the same conversations went on. I'm the area vice-president now for four chapters in this region and one of them is Phoenix, which is a very big chapter, and they are just going through the transition. I had the same comments, the same conversation. What are we going to do about money? What are we going to do? What do you mean we're closing the checking account down? So that's the model now. We are one chapter and that's it. It's much easier. Now, B'nai B'rith hasn't been in town for a long time. Who could tell you the most? You were going to talk to my sister-in-law and brother-in-law, Barbara and Bernie Kaufman. Bernie and Michael Cherry were very involved with B'nai B'rith. It's not in town anymore, but they could tell you when it stopped. So they could give us some more organizational information. Yes. They both have been interviewed. They were both involved with that. Do you have ORT, also? Do you have that information? No. That was really a thing here, too, and hasn't been for seven or eight years. It was a big thing a long, long, ago and then they brought in somebody to start it up again. It started for a few years and then just died. What is ORT? It was originally for training people. It started when a lot of immigrants came and it was a way to give people training and find jobs. I can't think of what it really stands for now. My grandmother 3 was involved with ORT. Is it O-R-T? Yes. I know there was a group here a long time ago. It disbanded and then a young group of women started up again for a few years. Have you talked to Phyllis Freedman? She has not been interviewed yet. She was hired to be the regional director of ORT when it came back here. She was working out of L.A. at the time. She was here, left, went to L.A. for a few years, and came back to do ADL [Anti- Defamation League]. But in between she did ORT and she could tell you exactly when it started and stuff. You definitely need to talk to her. And she just recently retired. She did. So this will be good. And just came back from a cruise yesterday. Perfect timing. She'll be all relaxed. There you go. She'll be ready and looking for something to do. She is on our community advisory group. Yes, she should be. This Rishona Chapter; that was the one that started in the '60s? Definitely started around the '60s. Do you have Sharon Walker on your list to talk to? Sharon's been interviewed. You can listen to her interview. I think her mother was one of the old Rishona people. She tried to help me get somebody interviewed, but they backed out. I can't remember who it was now. It's one of the few people that haven't wanted to do it. But Sharon has been 4 interviewed. She was just honored this past year, right, for Hadassah work? Both of us. Oh, you were, too. So every year Hadassah selects multiple? Somebody. No, it's not always multiple. It actually was one pe-son for a long time. I have to think of who we've honored over the years. Priscilla Schwartz-Hodes, have you talked to her? Not yet. You really should talk to her. Priscilla was the first honoree here. Her name has come up before. It was Priscilla. Then it was Helen and Bobby Feldman. Have you talked to them? Talk to them. And then Blanche and Phil Meisel. They haven't been here very long. You know a few people, don't you? I know. Every now and then somebody in the office says, "Is there anybody you don't know?" When we had the Hadassah gala this year and they had to talk about each one of us, the chair of the gala got up and said, "Is there anybody in the room who doesn't know Barbara Raben?" My kids were howling. They were hysterical. But you do. I think a lot of people feel that way that they know everybody. You came here in '91. Ninety-one. So it isn't like you grew up here. No. My husband's been here forty-five years and he doesn't know half the people I know. It kind of depends on what you do. I'm from a family from a small town; it's just what you did. You got involved in where you live. I have two sisters and we talk about it all the time. It's just how we were brought up. My grandparents were very much involved. My parents were always involved. 5 The family joke?and I said it at the gala?is we could never have Thanksgiving at our house because it would have meant my mother had to take the Hadassah stuff off the dining room table. So there was just no way. And we laugh. There was just, "I can't get rid of all of that, no, no way." It was just ingrained in us that you're in a community; you better damn well be a part of that community. Explain to us what Hadassah is all about, and why it's important and has been important in your family and in other people's. It's interesting. When I was a kid, my mother was so very much involved with Hadassah. She did other things, but Hadassah was the thing. Hadassah started a hundred and two years ago. It was started by a woman because her boyfriend dumped her and she was looking for something to do. She was way ahead of her time. This is a woman that wanted to be educated at a time that if you were a Jewish woman wanting a Jewish education, there was only so far you could go. Her father understood that she wanted to learn. She was very educated. She really cared. Her boyfriend dumped her. Her mother said, "We better get of town," and they took her on a trip and they went to...at that point it wasn't Israel yet. She realized that there were needs there; that they needed healthcare. And she came back and put a few women together. They sat in her house, had a little coffee, had about a hundred bucks, and decided they were going to raise money to bring healthcare to, at that time, Palestine. They ended up raising a few thousand dollars and [they] went to Israel and started doing something?over a hundred years later, Hadassah is, second to the government, the number one employer in the city of Jerusalem. The hospital is amazing. We always say at Hadassah we're not volunteering for the hospital; we own the hospital, and we do. You can't be in the building without crying. It's just not possible. Aside from the medical advances, the breakthroughs that are being done there, the 6 research that's being done in Hadassah is impacting the whole world. There's no doubt about it. But it is a place where if only the rest of the region would act the way it happens in the hospital...because Israelis are treated and Arabs are being treated. They say if there's a terrorist attack, they will treat the victim, they will treat the terrorists because all bets are off. You walk in the door of the hospital, everybody gets treated. There are Arab doctors working alongside Israeli doctors. It's really an amazing place. Aside for what we do, raising money for the hospital, we do advocacy, working on passing things in the government that we think benefit women. Right now we're working on women's health and heart health, which is a big push. Hadassah used to be known as your grandmother's organization. It was the old lady sending money to Israel. But it's so much more now; there's so much more being done in all areas. Anything that a woman is interested in, it's there. Because it's advocacy besides just the Israeli component, it's appealing to young women now, and not just older women. It's kind of touching everybody. It does for me. When you say "advocacy," is that advocacy in Israel or the U.S. only? The United States. I was a part of a group of a hundred and fifty women that went to Congress. Hadassah's logo is red and white. We all walked in with red binders. They were coming out of congressional offices, "The senator would like to meet with you; the senator would like you to come in." They were looking for us and the impact was really there. There is a Hadassah chapter in every congressional district of the United States. That's big. That is significant. That's a big thing. It may be small, but [the chapter is] there. Does it have an international component besides just Israel? There is, but it's not as big. There are some very big groups in South America and Europe. 7 There's a big group in France, another one in England. Not like it is here; it's a smaller scale. That is interesting. Did you start your work with Hadassah when you came to Vegas or before? It's very interesting. After all the years of my mother's involvement, Hadassah didn't really hit me in the beginning. I did other things. When my kids were really young, I was involved with an organization that [has] sort of died now called the National Council of Jewish Women, and I was always involved with the synagogue and my kids were in a day school. About twelve years ago, Hadassah was very smart; they realized that they were a dying breed and that they needed to get an influx of new people, not necessarily younger women, but new women who hadn't done anything. They picked cities around the country that they saw as growing in the Jewish community and decided to go out and do something in those cities. The first time, I think, they picked six cities and they did a one-year program of leadership and training. A friend of mine?I just got lucky?was in that first group, in Boca Raton, Florida. She called and said, "They're doing this again. They're picking cities around the country and I just heard they're picking Las Vegas. You need to apply and you need to do this." It was a huge application. It was like applying to college. It was this huge thing that you had to fill out and you had to be interviewed. They ended up picking fifteen women from Las Vegas to be in this group that was called the Hadassah Leadership Academy. A woman in New York wrote the curriculum and felt that there were two components: Jewish learning and leadership training. It was once a month for two years. It was a lot of homework and a lot of studying. It was exactly what I was looking for. It was a time where I knew I wanted to do something, to be a part of something and this just struck a chord. At the end of the two years, we all took a trip to Israel together and then [we each] had to 8 do something [to give back]. I was paired up with another woman; you kind of paired up as you went along. She and I came back and became did the silent auction for the first gala; that was our first giving back. Then we both ended up being presidents of the chapter down the line. who was your partner? Elaine Entin. There are a lot of people out in the community now doing all kinds of things that came out of that leadership training, not just for Hadassah. It's interesting to see how it worked and what it did. I'm involved on the regional level now, and every time the region gets together, I see all the people who were involved. The training crossed over to so much more than just Hadassah training. It really served me well, changed a lot of things for me. And there are good records of the organization? I have all the books at home for sure. The leader of our group is Lauren Eisenberg. Is she on your list? No. You're just adding to my list. I'm trying to think of how long she's lived here. Now you have D. Eisenberg, but that's not that Eisenberg. That's Dorothy. And they're not related. Lauren would be a good person to talk to. She worked for Federation for a while. She is teaching at the Adelson School now and at Ner Tamid. She was the leader of HLA, so I'm sure she'd have the list of all the names. It was a two-year program that was done here. We were the first city allowed to have a second group. So they did another two-year group here. Because Las Vegas was growing so much, they really wanted to do it a third time and Hadassah said, "We can't afford to do a third time, but if you raise half the money and show that commitment, you can do it a third time." And 9 they did; they raised the money and did a third one. Las Vegas is the only city in the whole country that had three groups of HLA. That was a very big deal. That's very cool. I bet a lot of people you're going to talk with will say they were a part of HLA. It's a great group of women. Do you have anything else you wanted to pick her brain about? Those were my specific questions. All right. You want to stay in here? You're welcome to. Sure. See your oral history in action. I'm going to start a second track. [End of interview re: Hadassah] Today is February 24, 2015. This is Barbara Tabach. I'm in my office with Barbara Raben. Barbara, would you spell your name for us, please? Barbara; it's B-A-R-B-A-R-A, nothing fancy. I like that spelling. And Raben is R-A-B-E-N. So take me back as far as you can in your family heritage. Where are your roots? My mother's family came from Poland and my father's family from Poland and Russia. Both sets of grandparents came to the United States young. My grandmother on my mother's side, her family just somehow knew they had to get out of Poland, long before there was anything. My grandmother and two brothers were put on a boat and sent to New York because there were some relatives there; they ultimately ended up in Connecticut. It was the late 1890s because both sets of grandparents were founders of the orthodox synagogue in the town I grew up in, and then also the 10 conservative synagogue. Founding families on both sides. It was so interesting. They never sat near each other when the kids came. At that point it was an orthodox synagogue where the women were at the sides and the men sat lower down in the center. I had one grandmother on this side and one on that side. We would walk all the way around. You couldn't walk in the middle. Where in Connecticut was this? Stamford. That where you grew up? I did. What was it like to grow up there, especially in the Jewish community? Stamford was a very interesting community. Looking back at it now, I feel very fortunate to have grown up there. It's less than an hour from New York City, so it's very easy to go into the city. A lot of people lived in Stamford, but commuted into New York. It was a community where a lot of?I didn't realize it as a kid?celebrities lived because it was far enough away to hide, but easy enough to get into New York. But what I really loved about it was that it was a very warm, welcoming small town. When I hear other people tell me about the prejudice that they grew up with, I didn't have any of that. There was a very big mix. New England, and especially that part of Connecticut, has a large Italian community, a large black community. There was never any problem. It just worked. That's always interesting when people describe a community Back East as not being that... It was Stamford that was like that because the towns on either side of us, Greenwich?when I was growing up, if you were Jewish you did not live in Greenwich. There was no question. On the other side was Darien. Given a choice, my father would drive around Darien; he didn't even want to go through there. It was very interesting. I know that there were probably places that were off 11 limits in Stamford, but that didn't affect any of us as kids. There wasn't any overt feeling that we weren't allowed or it didn't happen. The public schools closed on the Jewish holidays because there wouldn't have been anybody there. That's just how it was. They worked the public school calendar so that spring break was Passover. So what era were you growing up? You were born in what year? Forty-five. So that kind of puts this in perspective, too. When did you first experience anti-Semitism? Did your bubble break or were you aware of it before that? I think we always knew that there were places we didn't go, but it's not like everybody talked about it all the time. It just was there. Nobody ever said anything bad to me. Nobody I know ever said, "Oh, my god, they're saying bad things about us." I had Jewish and non-Jewish friends, so that was never an issue. I walked out of kindergarten?my mother tells this story all the time. She was picking me up with my grandmother. And I walked out of school holding the hand of a boy who I was friends with. He's very black. We walked out and I supposedly said to my mother, "This is David and I'm going to marry him." And my grandmother said, "No, you're not. He's not Jewish." That was the end of that. We're still friends. He still laughs about my grandmother. That's cute. But it was a very interesting city and still is. It's a very cosmopolitan small town because of New York. I see the mix of what goes on in the town now and it's still just as nice a place to be. So you still have family there it sounds like. My mother is still there. Wonderful. 12 My mother is ninety-five years old. She's still there. That's terrific. Then where did you go to college? I went to New Jersey. Then I got married and we [lived] to London for a year. So that kind of stopped everything. We came back and stayed in Stamford until 1975, at which point we moved to L.A. In 1989 and '90, we were commuting back and forth from L.A. to here, and then moved in '91. You came here before you actually officially lived here. Yes, for a couple of years. What were you doing in L.A.? I had a candy business in L.A. I love candy. My husband comes from a candy-making family so I love hearing candy stories. When my kids were young, I was the mother who baked all the cookies and did all the things. I loved to cook and I loved to bake. I went someplace and somebody had made candy. There was a store that sold candy-making supplies, and so I started buying things. But I used to come home complaining that the store was so terribly run; it drove me insane. They never have this; they don't have that. My husband finally said one day, "Go buy that store and make it what you want it to be. This is ridiculous." And so I did. I taught candy-making classes for people who wanted to make their own candies and by accident fell into kids' birthday parties, candy-making birthday parties, which became a full-time business. I also did special effect things for TV and movies, which was the fun side of the business. Explain that. What is special effects stuff? It was just a fluky thing. My youngest child was having a birthday and we didn't know what to do. 13 So I said, "Bring a few of your kids. They'll come to the store. I'll teach them how to make candy." We had ten kids. Then three mothers called and said, "Can you do the birthday party for my kid?" That's how things mushroomed. I did a birthday party and there was a child who left her jacket at the party. Two days later her mother came in to pick up the jacket and she said, "I heard I had to come see your store. I'm really here to pick up the jacket, but tell me about the store and the birthday party." She was the producer of a show that was on in L.A. called Two on the Town. It was Steve Edwards and I can't remember who the girl was. They would go to places around L.A. and they would film what it was like to go visit this or do that. She said, "I'm the producer of the show. My kid says it's the best birthday party she ever went to. Can we come and do the show from your store? Will you do a birthday party?" So Steve Edwards came and brought his daughter, who was three years old. We set it up with friends of mine and my kids. It was supposed to be a three-minute segment showing how to make candy and it turned into a seventeen-minute segment. Before it was off the air, the phone was ringing off the hook with people wanting to book birthday parties. From that day on we were booked a year in advance with birthday parties. It was crazy. What was the name of the business? The Candy Factory. [located in Los Angeles area and in Las Vegas at corner of Tropicana and Eastern] That's adorable. That's a big deal today. You were way ahead of your time. I have four kids. It was my youngest child. I was just like every other mother, looking for something to do to not mess up my house, and somebody says, "Here's the whole birthday party; just come; here's the money; do the party." And it was true. It worked. I loved it. It was a lot of fun because any child could do what I was showing him how to do. Every child felt successful; 14 that was it for me. Because of that I was able to invite a group of special needs kids, invite intercity kids. Kids who would never have the experience, we were able to have them come and tell them, "You can't do anything wrong; it's all going to come out great. And if you hate it, eat it. Nobody'll see it." Well, it was perfect. It was a lot of fun. A prop guy saw the show and he said, "If I tell you what I want, can you make it?" I said, "What do you want?" He said, "I want a parakeet. Can I come and talk to you?" He brought this parakeet in a cage and he said, "I have to let somebody take that parakeet out of the cage and bite the head off. So can you make it so it'll look like the parakeet?" And that's what we did. And in L.A. if you make one prop master happy, they all come to your door. So I spent years just making all these things that you don't think about that people eat. You see it happen and you just don't know that what they're eating is really food; it's not what you think it is. I worked on a show called V, close to twenty years ago. It was about aliens who came here, and when nobody was looking, they ate rats and birds and spiders and snakes and things. Anything they ate, I made it for the whole run of the show. Was that business also called Candy Factory? Absolutely. So when the credits roll and we see Candy Factory in an old movie, we'll know it's from you. Yes, I was in People Magazine. I guess it was one of them from V who said, "You know, you put that filling in it. Can I have it whatever flavor I want?" I said, "Sure." She said, "If it's bad enough I have to eat a rat, can it at least be raspberry inside?" It was fun. My kids still say the fun of it was I would make something for somebody and they'd say, "We need it right away." I said, "If I can bring one of my kids to the set, I'll deliver it." So my kids got to do a lot of fun things. They were on the set at Cheers when it was a really big 15 deal. what did you make for Cheers? I almost ended up in the hospital with that one. Ted Danson had to take a beer bottle and crack it on the side of the bar like he was biting it and then hitting it, like he was going to get somebody with it. So it had to be made out of hard candy so that he could bite it and then show it. It was crazy. what a lot of fun memories. It was fun. For my kids, some of it was amazing. We had two rap stars who at the time my kids thought were the end-all; they were doing a party and they wanted a pinata that when you hit the pinata out would come X-rated candies. I had this whole group come into the store. I had no idea who they were. My kids knew right away. I said, "I'll do it." And they said, "But you have to deliver it to Calabasas. I said, "Fine, if I can bring one of my kids." My son Marc still has the picture. It was Dr. Dre and Easy-E. Now he's really a big deal. Yes, he is a big deal. But it was an interesting life lesson. We went out there. It was like, gee, are they going to be nice? I have this young kid. Is it going to be a bunch of thugs? What are they going to do? And I walked in and it was a very quiet cul-de-sac street in a lovely area of Calabasas. I'm going, boy, I bet the neigh