Bar Mitzvah speech for Barry Katz by Lloyd Katz, 1965, version 1

Until today, Barry, your Mother and I have attempted to guide you past the normal milestones in every child's life. Your first spoken words -- those first faltering steps -- and sending you off to your first day of school. These were indeed momentous occasions, the memories of which we shall long cherish. Now they were the highlights of your physical and mental development. But today we are concerned with another phase in your life. We are at a crossroad of your spiritual destiny. We are now dealing with matters of the heart ? of the soul -- of moral instincts -- and personal values. We have tried to instill in you an awareness and sensitivity in these areas of character development. Your Bar Mitzvah, hopefully, will serve to further enunciate this effort. You have made us all exceedingly proud of you today. Not just because you have become a Bar Mitzvah -- nor is it because of the exemplary manner in which you recited your Haftorah. But more importantly because of the spirit you invested in the project The zeal -- the dedication and the pride. It is both refreshing and reassuring -- and like the child of the old country who was given a bit of honey the day he started "Cheder" ? you too have tasted the sweetness of Torah. May it linger forever in your heart. We are a people who place great store in the richness of tradition. It is in this spirit that today I perpetuate a practice observed in our family for many years - that of the father's message to his son on the occasion of his Bar Mitzvah. In wishing you well -- in offering you instructions and advice ? possibly filled with plattitudes and generalities -- I pause and ask myself -- what is it really that Father wants for his sons? The things he never had? No, I don't think this is the true answer. For this suggests vicariously reliving one's life. It would, therefore, seem to me that it is less important what a father wants for his son than what a father wants his son to want for himself. I respect you as an individual -- your capacities and shortcomings -- your talents and your attitudes. I respect you as the kind of boy you are and calibre of man I feel you will become. As a father I can only lay out the samples -- you will have to make the selections. I know you will choose wisely. you make your choice it would be well to look around you. We are living orId of one-ness -- not togetherness -- but same-ness. The tapestry of life eems to be without its bright splashes of color -- or bold lines. The tempo of the times carries us along in its current -- we don't swim -- we only float. We seem to have abandoned to our era the dignity of individuality. It was Emerson who said ? "Whoso would be a man must be a non-conformist". In a world of blind followers, we are sorely in need of visionary leaders. Today, in the portion of the law, we read of the crisis which confronted our people. Subjected to the hardships of their desert wandering, they became impatient and plagued with doubts. Pagan nations, they knew, were flourishing in their own lands ? and here they were, homeless and drifting. So when Moses was delayed in his return from Mt. Sinai with the word of God ? they prevailed upon Aaron to make for them an idol to worship -- the Golden Calf. Why be any "different" than the pagans? This business of being "different" ? this belief in One God -- in a special code of morals ? this noblesse oblige ? was making what they felt were unreasonable demands. Fortunately, Moses plead their cause to God and carried them through this dilemma. They were to later learn that it was just this "differentness" that united and strengthened them ? sustained and nourished them throughout their trials in history. To be successfully "different" ? one must have courage and dedication. If you set your goals and the standards by which to achieve them -- it matters little what others may think. You make the decision just so long as you are convinced you're right. I say to you, Barry ? have the courage to be different -- to be Barry. Learn the lasting pleasure of being an innovator, a trail-blazer -- the deep satisfaction of learning, interpreting, and developing new and better ideas for doing and thinking -- the great joy of creating and contributing to the world and Community in which you live. Life will try you often ? you will be confronted with problems, the solutions to which will depend on what you have learned from previous problems. Remember, however, it is not just what we learn by experience -- but rather what we do with what we learn. Drink deeply of life -- grapple with it -- challenge it -- question it. Never stop asking "why" and "how". The answers will help you grow. ?^Why do we say "Elohenu Velohay Avosenu" ? "Our God and God of Our Fathers"? Why not just say "God of Our Fathers"? Bal Shem Tov, the Chassidic Rabbi explains it this way. To accept the God of Our Fathers would be blind faith ? subject to be weakened by time. But "Our God" suggests we have embraced Him only after exhaustive study and investigation and personal experience. So it is not enough to simply inherit this faith but rather we must study it -- develop and strengthen it and make it grow with our own devotion and dedication. There is an interesting commentary implicit in the words "Ksuvim B'etzbah Elohim" ? "Written with the Finger of God". This phrase is designed to establish the Divine source of the tablets' message. It would be fitting, however, to regard fhe Heavenly Finger as also pointing to the Torah ? to our hearts ? to our minds ? and beckoning us into the House of Israel. Today, Barry, the Etzbah Elohim points to you. Stand up proudly as an American and as a Jew ? for in fact the two are interdependent and indivisible. Our concept of democracy is founded on the very religious and moral law first and still taught in Judaism. The freedom and dignity of man -- his reverence of God ? and his love for his fellow man. Learn these principles as a Jew -- cherish and practice them as a man and you will make of yourself a better human being ? and a better citizen in this wonderful land of ours. Finally, I urge you to build your house on 3 firm foundations ? Justice, Truth and Peace. It will not only weather all the storms life has to offer -- but it will allow you to touch the hem of angels and be richer for it. The day is short -- the work is great ? the laborers sluggish ? the reward is much and the Master is urgent. So for you, Boruch Simchah ? as your name indicates ? this is truly a blessed festive occasion and it is with love overflowing that all of us -- Mother, your brother Jeff, and myself ? your grandparents -- family -- Rabbi, Cantor and Teachers, and the many friends sharing in your celebration -- we all most warmly welcome you into the Glorious House of Israel. God Bless You.