Testimony by Shelley Bristol for National Association for People with AIDS, February 1994

HELLO, I'm Shelley Bristol, HIV-NEGATIVE SPEAKER, FOR THE N A T 'L ASSOC. OF PEOPLE WITH AIDS. Over 1 and a half year ago I had to end my relationship with my boyfriend who I loved very much. This hurt me very deeply and I felt like I wanted to die inside. So 7 weeks after my breakup with my boyfriend, I decided to go to work away from my home in Winnemucca, Nv , . For 2 weeks I was able to work, cry, rest and deliberately hurt myself by putting myself at risk behavior since I just didnot care about life and after 2 weeks of being away from my home and really dislike the work i was doing to pay my bills, I started to realize how much I missed my friends, my two poodles, my warm apt., my blue sunbird. and I wanted to come home and start my life all over and fight for me no matter how much I hurt inside. I knew 3 months from last Nov. I'd have to have a 3month and 6 month HIV -AIDS TEST,and now my past would no longer matter because atl had no idea if I wouldtest positive or negative on a Hiv test, I just wanted to get on with putting my life in orderand appreciated everything I had going for me. So I put together what was my most importan goals that I wanted to get started on. These were a new waitress job,volunteer work as an Aids educator, to pratice reading my tarot cards and study the kabbalah, and work out at the gym, and enjoy meeting single men with my personal ad. Now I felt like I had a lot of purposes to get over my hurt and I believed in myself and really worked very hard by doing all these things. Now it was February and Imet this man that I started to date and like that I met thru my personal ad, and I knew in the 3rd week of Feb. I was going to a Hiv test so now I started to face the real possibility I could test positive, so I was very honest with this man and told him my past had put me at risk and I was going to have a Hiv test. I found out my test was negative and this uncaring man held my past against and told me my test was dormant and ended our friendship. There was nothing I could do to resolve this and this man harsh judgement hurt me. As I remember I had my Hiv test on a Friday, Ifelt so awful the week before, and I shook and cried the whole day after my test and I didn't want to find out I could die and that nobody would want to hold or kiss me. I also felt like I was leaving behind my old life and whoever I was before and now I felt I could grow into a very courageous and strong woman. And now everything would be so diferent that I went thru this rough change in my life. I got the results of my Hiv test test on Mon. from my dr. office that I was Hiv- which meant I didn't have aids,and earlier that day I met the volunteer coordinator at Aids for Aids of Nevada so one day I'd be a volunteer educator at A F A N . I felt very relefied that I didn't have the Aids virus. It was like I was give a very special 2nd chance at life. So since then I decided I could help and give of myself to others to educate people on the prevention on aids. I month later I started being a educator on our Aids hotline. I did work on our Aids hotline at Afan for 1 and half year. M y 6 month Hiv test was negative. So at the end of june I had a party where I read everyone Tarot cards with all my friends also with a cake and balloons, and I celebrated my freedom. I'm very proud of my sincere work as a volunteer educator. I also do volunteer work for Nevada mam dS f r o ject and flct_Up th3t 1 e d U C a U p e ?Ple with the c " U 15 alS? lmPOrt? t to me ;r;?that??::r; kn? ? r Catl?" ^ ? " ? * . of ? ? * P re?e?tion 1 cI?se now by s a v , A l d s - ea=h Other teach ^ al"aYS Sister as we ed the of Hi?-Aid3. a M ha!p