Letter and envelope from Mary Etta Syphus, Panaca, Nevada to John M. Bunker, Bunkerville, Nevada

Letter and envelope (with stamp) from Mary E. Syphus, Panaca Nevada, to John M. Bunker, Bunkerville, Nevada, dated June 18, 1894.
Envelope addressed:
Mr. John M. Bunker, Bunkerville, Lincoln Co., Nev
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Panaca, Nev. line 1
June 18, 1894. line 2
Mr. John M. Bunker, line 3
Bunkerville, Nev. line 4
Dear Friend:- line 5
After this long silence, I again line 6
write to you. line 7
Your letter was received last line 8
Saturday evening. I was very pleased line 9
to hear from you once more, but line 10
sorry to learn that you were not feel- line 11
ing well. Hope you are better ere this. line 12
We are enjoying the blessing line 13
of good health but are far from being line 14
happy. Julia and children are with line 15
Page 2 us a present. She and Ma are very, line 1
very sad. To see their sorrow, makes line 2
my heart ache. I often think that they line 3
never will overcome this trial. line 4
Truly dear brother's death is the line 5
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greatest trial we ever had but I know line 6
the loss is greater to them, than to us. line 7
For our parent’s d Julias's sake, we try to line 8
appear cheerful, though we cannot feel line 9
so. line 10
At first I felt that it could be line 11
harder for none than for me, as I
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was not with him to do anything for
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him, to hear him speak one word, or
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to take a last fond look. But as I hear
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of this terrible suffering and death, I can
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—not regret, so much, that I did not
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witness it for now I try to remember
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him as I saw him last, well and happy.
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Oh! it seems that I cannot realize, fully,
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yet that dear Alf rests on that lonely
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hill. I have always thought of that
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graveyard with horror eversince I was
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down there and visited it, but now it
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seems so dear and sacred to me. I
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long to go there again to see that one
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lone grave.
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It is so sad to know that we
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shall never, in this life, see his dear
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face, nor hear his familiar voice again,
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and yet I know we should acknowledge
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the hand of the Lord. I feel to say, "Father thy will be done and not ours." I earnestly believe dear brother is better off than we are, and know that he has only paid the debt we all must pay.
After I got the telegram I did not like to leave Provo without telling you but, I could not write, so asked Annie to tell you, and she mailed the letter after I started.
Through an error the operator made
in sending the message, I did not whether
know / I was to start on Monday or Tuesday and the wires were down so I could not find out. However, I left Provo on Monday the 21st. ult. and had to wait in Milford one night nd day before Geo. got there. Annie and the folks were very kin/d to me. They did everything for me to- -wards getting ready, and took me to the depot. When the train started and I left them all, I felt that I was alone indeed. I tried to think that I would . see Alf again, that they had brought him home, and I could attend the funeral
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but when I met Geo., I learned that I had hoped in vain.
The folks did not get here from the Muddy for several days after we reached home. You may know my long-looked-for meeting with all the folks was very different to what I had expected. Though, even before I left home, I felt afraid that death would enter our family before I could return, but when the time for coming was so near I was very happy, and felt that all would be well until I heard of Alf's illness. Then I seemed to know from the first
that he would not recover. I tried hard to put it off and would not give up to such a feeling only for a few minutes at a time.
Ed n<^ Levi have gone back to the Muddy. We will be very glad when Levi can come home for we miss him so much. I must write to him to night.
The last letter you wrote to me in Provo, I did not get untill the 7th. inst. Annie said she took my
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address to the postmaster and asked him to forward my mail, but he did not till I wrote from here.
Then I did not know whether you were still in Logan, or had come home, so I did not write. In leaving school when I did, I missed only one day of examination, and I have heard
since I have been home that I passed successfully in my studies.
I am undecided what to
do now. I am afraid I shall not be satisfied when winter comes if I am not in school, and at present I haven't ambition enough to face the Board of Examination again. But, of course, I must or I cannot take a school if I have an offer.
The weather has been remark- ablely cold for the time of year. We have been glad to gather around the fire, mornings and evenings most of the time since I came hom^ and the wind has been blowing every day.
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Times are very dull, inded,
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now. I don't think they could be
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much worse.
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Dear friend, I hope I shall not tire
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you completely with my writing, but
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am afraid I shall if you are not
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feeling better.
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Judging from the way you
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write I infer that you are not entire
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-ly satisfied with that part of the
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country. I find that I do not think
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quite as much of Panaca as I used
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to. If it were not my home, and my
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parents lxd relatives were not here, I
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don't think I should care much for it.
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Do you think of remaining at home
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this summer? I suppose you do not
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know yet what you will do. I hope
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Written across top of Page 8 you will not go so
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far away, or change
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your mind so often
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that you will not
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come to Panaca
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sometime before long.
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Well, I will conclude
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for to-night hoping
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Written across top of Page 8 to hear from you
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again soon.
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Yours Truly
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Mary.