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It Ain't All Glamour or Ben Gay, Bandages and the M.G.M. Grand, Reno By Carol Roy (A.K.A. Mrs. Electric) M.G.M. Grand Hotel presents "Hello Hollywood Hello". Produced, created and directed by Donn Arden; Executive Producer Bill DeAngeles; Costumes by Bill Campbell and Pete Menefee; Choreography by Maldonado, Hansen and Hemsley; M.G.M. Girls and Boys ?╟÷ Margaret Kelly (better known as Miss Bluebell); Orchestra ?╟÷ Phil Moody. "Mr. Electric" (2); Jolly Jovers (2); Gali Gali (1); Jerry Dewert (I), and a cast of "thousands". (Poetical or some kind of license has been taken in pursuit of brevity by the author in order to greatly condense said VARIETY type simulated preamble!) Our summer of 78 was spent on the lovely shores of Lake (Donn) Arden in the Truckee meadows of Reno; northern Nevada's latest Boom-Boom Town. Said lake is actually a small reservoir located in back of the hotel next to Camperland! It was the happy home of several sea-gulls who didn't quite make it over the pass to Frisco and the Pacific. Constructed out of sheer necessity for the tremendous waterfall effect Donn had specified for the Space Production, as the local water department was Running Dry. "Hello Hollywood Hello" is Donn's newest and most ingenious MONSTER. Even he refuses to call it a SHOW. A Spectacle, Parade, Extravaganza, but, definitely not a Mere Show. A few dull statistics just to Set the Scene so you may comprehend the ENORMITY of it all. It makes the M.G.M. Vegas seem Intimate "off- Broadway". For one of the 1,015 rooms or suites on it's 145 acres you may pay up to a few hundred dollars or an easier $10 to park your Camper! As the world's largest stage it measures 280 by 170 feet and is nine stories high. Talk about flys! Three elevators each 12 by 36 feet plus two revolving circular ones on each side all which move up and down to the basement for 200 props and 96 set changes. Show cast approximately 150; then crew, wardrobe, orchestra, etc., certainly brings it nearly to 300. (Total hotel employees about 4000.) AND, that doesn't count the acts. But, then, they never count us anyway. If you have an Ego Problem (too much I mean) a Revue Show will solve it. You receive NO introduction; NO publicity; NO billing; not much rehearsal time (the crew and orchestra need it even if You don't) and, consider yourself LUCKY if you even have a dressing room. We were exiled to a quick change area stage-right; otherwise would probably have had to dress in our car. With sincere Thanks to Bill DeAngeles even for that. See what happens when you're the last to arrive! The Jolly Jovers took over Siegfreid & Roy's designated D.R. when the latter bolted to fame and fortune at the Stardust. Jovers planning a long stay brought in couches, T.V., and fridge, consequently, achieving a rather "cozy mosoleum" decor. I mean, it WAS meant for housing S. & R.'s ZOO; NOT two nice people doing an acro-comedy number. Gali Gali. shared with Jerry Dewert the excellent trapeze act. Did you ever share with a bunch of baby chickens? Think Jerry later moved to the basement. The Jovers being very clever and well schooled in "production show survival tactics" opened their act with "Hello, We're the Jolly Jovers ?╟÷ Number Four in your program. Since Mr. Electric was doing a fast nine minutes SILENT we had 2400 in the audience per show wondering who the heck they were watching. Also, having been around a bit our "1000 watt bulb" announcement told 'em who we were ?╟÷ finally. Did YOU ever try to read a program in the dark? Tt began like this. We had just returned looking tanned and gor-jus from our first Caribbean Cruise ?╟÷ mixed reviews ?╟÷ we loved the sun, hated the motors; and, were in the middle of some "electrical" commercials when the phone rang. 'Twas Big Bill "De" ?╟÷ "Hey, Marv, we need you. When can you get up here?" Donn, Bernie (Rothkoff, entertainment director) and I thought you'd be great for us." Seems an act wasn't Jelling. At that moment I was sitting on the couch in M's den; Mai Tai in hand and shaking my head ?╟÷ NO, NO, NO! My plans for June, July and August did NOT include two shows a nite (8 and midnight) to bed at 4 a.m.; No Days off; lousy, no credential "reviewers" who criticize the acts as a matter of course; AND, facing those Turkey Audiences. I mean Reno not being exactly the Sun and Fun Capitol of the universe, also, does not cater to the Monte Carlo Chic. In fact, it became standard practice for me to pre-judge our type viewers by counting both the Buses and Campers in the parking lot. Buses usually full of charming little old ladies left over from LIBERACE who were at least not downright Hos-tile. Whereas, Campertime we (I mean the whole show collectively ?╟÷ they didn't discriminate) were usually In Trouble. Let's face it. It's comparison that counts. That is why your most traveled, sophisticated and intelligent people are usually your best public. They know when something excels because they've seen more. That's -48?╟÷ GENII, The Conjurors' Magazine