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the reason Marv and I loved the Old Lido in Paris. The epitomy of class. How-som-ever, M. never being able to refuse a Big Premier said, "Listen, I've got to talk to Carol. Call me tomorrow." Imagine, literally dozens of acts had been submitted by same number of agents world-wide and we, none-soliciting, were being ASKED, and I'm saying No and M's saying "Call tomorrow." Well, naturally, we did go. Don't we always? But, only for 14 weeks as our General Electric schedule started again mid-September. Five days later we were up at 4 a.m. and heading for the High Country. Station wagon and car packed to the top. With props it's easier to drive than fly if close enough. Arrived about 3 p.m.; un-loaded at M.G.M.; dashed to apartment arranged by the hotel or NO GO as impossible on short notice to find pne; made the beds, set up kitchen and bath; hung-up clothes; took a shower; back to the hotel for 6 p.m. music rehearsal. Eventually got into dressing-room to set the props and stumble through a "mark it" rehearsal at 8:30 ?╟÷ Mr. E in robe and slacks and me in shorts?╟÷er, plus! Hadn't time to get-together with the stage crew ?╟÷ did that next day. A sandwich at Sambo's and to bed about 12. Just another average 20- hour sho' biz day. Ain't it fun to be an act, and only work a few minutes a nite? Right, Deanna Shimada? Actually opened day after arrival to two days of Invited Guests. Our third day was The Opening ?╟÷ the full show had been in rehearsal for several months. It went off without a problem. For all a Terrific Premier. D. A. said to M. and I, "Beautiful, you've never ' looked better." He should know as it had been almost exactly 20 years previously we'd opened the first LIDO show, "C'est Magnifique", in Vegas for him. Fortunately, this is one business in which you CAN improve with age like Vintage Wine! (An expert in both wine and age is speaking.) My first on stage hello came from ' Sadhji (our famous Acid Queen of "Space Walk Disco") who just before ,1 RAN out (it's a BIG floor remember and takes a while to get center) put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Welcome to Drano." Then, Winston DeWitt Hemsley (assistant to D.A.), and friend from the Vegas M.G.M. said, "Isn't it nice to be here, but, aren't you glad you don't have to Stay Forever?" I had the proverbial fingers- crossed hoping Mr. E would meet me on stage, eventually, at least. An assistant without a magician is a lonely Creature. (I found out "how lonely" just recently when on the aforementioned cruise ?╟÷ I make him take me for the suntan ?╟÷ Marv was introduced, produced the chandelier and had No Lite! He said, "I'm OUT" and, Took Off. Leaving me dancing to Winchester Cathedral and making chit-chat with ring-siders who didn't know WHAT was going on. Have you ANY idea how long three, to four minutes ALONE can be ?╟÷ unprepared?) Back to Reno. You see my apprehension grew out of the fact that during rehearsal and, Our Turn, I was There by following one prop-boy paging the front curtain and another carrying the table and Me lugging the chandelier to a closer vantage point ?╟÷ for to run completely off to get it would have been Bicycle Time. I arrived ?╟÷ the music started and NO Mr. E ?╟÷ forever and ever. Needing binoculars to see across the stage I, nevertheless, ascertained by the frantic motion of THE GOLD "HE" was "enveloped" and fighting for his theatrical life. Thereafter, "HE" also asked for a "pager". I can't do EVERYTHING for him, my dears. Further to this the first thing you should buy upon entering a production show of this magnitude is ACCIDENT INSURANCE. (Attention Bob Brown: A Whole New Market.) Be sure you are covered for fallingjsets; gigantic cables underfoot; dripping rain curtains that slick the floor like ice (and me without my trusty blades) which in turn warped the stage sending up little one or two inch board-ends, just enough to trip over; sticking elevators from which a lot of screaming : may ensue when the girls jump for their lives as they did during Fu- turopolis one evening; mile-high staircases to gracefully(?) walk up and down; or, a huge curtain opening with no-one to catch it ("catcher" was off and no replacement) which FLATTENED one girl singer knocking the hair-piece literally off | her head. Lying on the stage she only had time to comment, "Oh, S !" before jumping up for her next costume change. Frank Fierce (crew) ripped a toenail off pushing on the San Francisco fountain. (His rescuer was in : turn run over as well.) When last seen on that particular nite Frank had his foot stuck in a bucket of ice in ; the stage manager's office. A large chandelier in the opening j was frequently smashed leaving broken glass bulbs abundantly j strewn about. This was also during I the famous "Red Chicken Feather Number" ?╟÷ performed to Heat Wave, what else? I, subsequently, stepped on one little ole feather while popping out of My Bulb, and fell Flat on Fanny. Diana Zimmerman happened to be witness to THAT one so naturally, I took a bow! Sitting ?╟÷ on slippery feather. Girls getting near-pneumonia from too much air-conditioning or hyper-ventilating from too little. Fainting immediately upon coming off with the rest of the cast casually jumping over their prone bodies until the crew arrives, stretchers in tow, to carry them off to the oxygen tanks. Kinda like the army ?╟÷ wheel 'em in, wheel 'em out and SEND IN * THE RESERVES. Following I offer you various HIGHLIGHTS from my well-stored Memory Bank. Remember, this is only 14 weeks, but, even I can only take so much. BACKSTAGE HAPPENINGS: There was The Freckles Incident. Since I "grew up on a horse" my heart stopped when one chariot in the Finale drove over the trench for the water cascade mentioned earlier. It collapsed and the horse, said Freckles, dropped straight down. Only his head remained in sight. The girls were crying; and the audience was shouting, "Stop the Show". I agreed with all. However, you soon learn NOTHING stops a Relentless Revue. The crew DID run out ?╟÷ held it's head and calmed it. Took almost an hour and a lot of thinking after the curtain to build a ?√ß January, 1981 -49-